When I saw that Homeland Security had identified Mr. Ricin, I immediately thought to myself "I bet it's a middle-aged white guy!" See, ricin is just a little too esoteric for al-Qaeda, who only seem to believe in things that go boom. My pundit perspicacity was immediately rewarded when I saw that the alleged perpetrator was a 57-year-old guy named Roger Von Bergendorff. For real? That sounds like one of the antagonists from Die Hard. I didn't realize there were still junkers out there using 'von'.